A Bird with a Message

Last week was crazy. I learned a lesson about writing a blog about newfound peace. That peace will be threatened. When I say I had to fight to remain peaceful, I did. We started the week off with our normal speech and OT on Monday and Tuesday that puts me getting to work a few hours late on those days. Tuesday I got home and the internet was out. We were in and out and finally just out of internet service for the next three days. The problem got resolved Friday and by the grace of God and a good technician, they got us up and running until a new line could be buried the following Monday morning. Sounds like a first world problem and it is, but when you've got a kid that relies a lot on some kind of streaming device, it could've been a lot worse than it was. Not to mention that we'd been successful in removing the iPad all that weekend and beginning of the week until we had no internet. We had to resort to downloads on his device during crucial moments when nothing else would help Harrison regulate. Thursday his daytime therapy was cancelled so again, I was missing work. At least the internet was working during that time for a little while. That helped! Then on Friday, I get a text that he wasn't feeling well and I needed to pick him up from therapy...45 mins after I dropped him off. This is when I was like, "SERIOUSLY!?" But it's still all good, I've gotten good at counting my blessings and looking on the bright side. {Since he was out the day before, I had noticed a few symptoms and used the day with him to go to the doctor for a strep test. We do have a PANDAS diagnosis (though I do not believe he has it to be honest.) His strep test was negative and I was able to catch up with his pediatrician.}

So, there I was at work with the previous day's work on my desk plus some other stuff that needed to be done and I kicked it into high gear. I thought 15 mins had passed, but it was more like 45 minutes. I texted therapy that I had some work that had to be done before I left for the weekend and that I was on my way with a fire lit under my butt to get there. Literally, that's what I texted her. It was weird and I have no idea where that verbiage came from but it's what I said. So, I was power walking the quarter mile to my car about to break a sweat and I walked right by this hummingbird just sitting in the middle of the driveway in our parking lot. I stopped in my tracks and walked back to make sure I was seeing correctly. I've NEVER seen a hummingbird not flying that I can recall. I just stared at the bird, studying it. It wasn't dead, it was moving it's head. I thought it had to be injured so I stepped closer to see if it would try to fly away. It didn't budge. Little bird just sat there, in perfect peace. I took two pictures because I really couldn't believe what I was seeing. Is this normal? Like, this isn't normal. I got so close that I was able to nudge the bird with my phone which made it take flight. It flew to a nearby car and then off to do what hummingbirds do. It was gone.

I turned around and walked to my car, a little slower than my original speed. The whole way to get Harrison, I was thinking about that hummingbird. What was it DOING there, besides a whole bunch of nothing? So strange.

I Googled the significance of hummingbirds in the Bible, which is usually my go-to action when something like this happens. There's not much about them in the Bible at all. I did find an online article that got my gears turning a little faster though:

"Hummingbird wings move at about 50 beats per second. But when they fly, hummingbirds can appear completely motionless. A miracle of fitness and form, God made these creatures to be a delicate display of paradox: They are still and active at the same time." https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2021/april/hummingbird-wings-god-invisible.html

The article also mentions Isaiah 30:15, “You will be delivered by returning and resting; your strength will lie in quiet confidence”. Wow. I had just that week been contemplating the place of "rest" I'm being ushered into as it pertains to Harrison and all that he has going on. No longer do I feel the need to beg Father to help him, to heal him. It's done. I can breathe deeply in peace, knowing that what is coming is good and that worry won't help me any.

That hummingbird was sitting there with a message for me. "Slow down, it's all OK. Keep your peace. Breathe. You can rest in God."

The rest of the weekend involved a potato needing to be excised from our hall toilet, complete with the toilet ending up in the backyard at one point AND our master bathroom sink backing up. Again, totally first world problems and I'm grateful to have running water and indoor plumbing for sure, but it did make for a long weekend. And all the while, this little bird was on my mind.

He was sitting in the middle of a driveway where he'd have been run over, had he not flown away. He was still, calm, and at perfect peace even in a deadly position. Hummingbirds look like they are suspended motionless in midair when they are really flapping their wings faster than my eyes can perceive. THEY LOOK LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHEN SO MUCH IS HAPPENING I CAN'T EVEN REGISTER IT. Like when God is moving in the background, in the spirit, and everything in the natural looks like it's stagnant and standing still. My humanity limits my perception of everything He's doing, but His Word says He's doing it and I believe it. I believe His Word. I believe Him. I can rest in the storm, sit in the line of fire, knowing full well that the God who named me and formed me didn't bring me this far to let it all go sideways now.

Selah.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28