Learning to Rest in the Storm

“I’m drowning.”

“I can’t breathe.”

Those two phrases have been on repeat in my mind for a few weeks now. The month of May apparently did a number on me. I was on a break from school, so it should’ve been easier but it wasn’t. Blood draws and doctor consults and other health consults, researching ALL THE THINGS to help my kiddo, swim lessons starting back up, trying to work a full-time job and keep the house livable got the better of me. I know I'm blessed beyond measure. This is NOT me complaining. But, a good life can still be overwhelming when our focus needs adjusting.

My pastor preaches on “resting in Jesus” a lot, but it’s an area I struggle with the most. How does one “rest” when they can barely catch their breath? There is no down time, no chill time. There is no rest time for families like mine. When you have a special needs kid, rest looks like 5 minutes in the Target parking lot while you’re kid is still strapped into his car seat. It doesn’t look like long walks on the beach and palm trees, sleeping in, sleeping at all for that matter…it doesn’t look like “typical rest”. So then what does it look like for real? It's a valid question, especially for someone that lives in fight or flight 24/7, 365. I still haven’t figured it out.

I went to prayer last night. I texted a friend that I was going and told her I needed to be tackled by Jesus. Wrapped up and knocked off the field, just completely bulldozed, you know? He did speak to me, but there was no bulldozing. And while I did get a word from Him concerning my kiddo, He's not taking me out of the game just yet.

Today, I was starting to go down the road of overwhelm, making mental to-do lists and in my mind I hear, “Learn to rest in the storm”. There's my Jesus.

“LEARN TO REST IN THE STORM.”

So I Googled “Jesus sleeping in the boat” and I read the three different accounts of His stormy nap in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. (Matthew 8:23-27, Mark 4:35-41, and Luke 8:22-25)

Some takeaways: First, He said they were going to the other side. (I’ve heard this preached before and it was so revelatory to me.) He didn’t say they were going to try to go somewhere else or that they were going to go chill in the middle of the sea, He had a plan. He knew the destination. They were going to the other side. The disciples should’ve banked on that plan. (pun intended)

 'On that day, when evening came, He said to them, “Let’s go over to the other side.”' Mark 4:35

Second, He was inside a boat, a vessel. We are also referred to as vessels. Metaphorically, it’s brilliant. He’s resting inside of a vessel. We are vessels. I could keep saying it because it was a huge epiphany for me. Third, the storm is coming from the outside, surrounding them, waves crashing in. It was BAD. The wind was howling, and fear gripped the disciples. They thought they were going to die. “I’m drowning. I can’t breathe.” Fourth, they have to wake Him up. He was good and asleep. So He gets up and tells the wind and waves to stop, and they do immediately. This tells me that He can control the elements, the wind and the waves. He can control nature. He can also control anything threatening the lives of His disciples, anything that’s trying to drown us. "All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him not even one thing came into being that has come into being." John 1:3 The Creator has control over the created. Period.

Lastly,

And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:40

Being reminded of all this helps me breathe deeper. I can trust His plan. We ARE going to the other side. Even if a storm (or twenty) come up and try to drown me, scare me, or take me out, My Savior is living inside me and He isn't worried about His plan being disrupted. He isn't afraid for my life, He holds my life. He can stop the storm when He wants to. As a matter of fact, because He lives in me, I can speak to the storm and tell it to chill out. I have that authority in Him. Trust me, I've said it in every way I can think of. So, if the storm hasn't stopped, I have to trust that there's a reason I'm having to endure it. Maybe to test my faith. Maybe to grow it. I mean, how strong is your faith if it hasn't been tested, right?

It was in the middle of the storm that their lack of faith came to the surface. It's easier to preach trust and faith in Jesus on dry land. But in the face of fear and death, menacing external factors that we don't ask for, and incurable health diagnoses, how easy is it then to trust we are going to make it to the other side? It's in the storm that we see what we're really made of, and it should be Jesus. So, do I know what rest looks like yet? No. But …trust, I can do that. I can trust that with each passing day, I'm getting closer to the other side, storm or no storm. His plan will prevail, come hell or high water.

He is in me. I am from Him. So are you. It's going to be OK.

"You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4