An Unpopular Faith

It's not easy...having radical faith. And I don't say that I have radical faith to puff myself up or anything like that. But with every passing day and every conversation I have, even with people that know me well, I see that my faith is radical. I realize that my stance towards my son's diagnoses (that's plural, btw) is one that is unpopular, especially in the special needs community. My intention is never to offend. My intention is believe God. Culture programs us for acceptance. Yes, acceptance is good. Acceptance is holy, even. We must accept our children because God has accepted us. He has given us the spirit of adoption that cries out, "Abba, Father"! (For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:15) Rejection on any level opens us up to all types of oppression from the enemy. (Trust me, I've been delivered from rejection so I can discuss this from experience.) So, by default, we are to accept our children, but that does not mean that we have to accept their diagnoses.

Culture wants us to accept the diagnoses handed to us by man. I refuse to do that. To do that is to walk away from the word that the Lord gave me four years ago. My son needs me to partner with that word and believe it, even when it's radical and unpopular. Even if it ruffles feathers and makes others uncomfortable. Harrison needs someone with radical faith to push through, to see this thing through. He needs heaven to invade earth in his body, in his soul, and in his spirit. And anything less than that is NOT God's best for him. I realize that that is an unpopular position to take. I was never much for popularity anyway, so I guess it suits me.

Unbelief likes to come at us from different angles. Unbelief wants us think that getting by is good enough, that the best possible outcome is impossible, that healing from God isn't for today. That's not true. God's best for my child is healing and wholeness in his mind, in his spirit, and in his body. Every system being healed. I cannot, I will not, partner with the lies of the enemy that say, "I need to accept this because 'what if it doesn't happen?'"That is not what the Lord spoke to me. He said, "I'm going to heal your son and show people I still do miracles." Yes, I have my moments where I am desperate for the healing and I'm in my feelings and I am overstimulated and overworked and sometimes undersupported, even though I have a great support system. The battle against unbelief is constant. But that's just what it is, a battle. "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ"- 1 Corinthians 15:57 Only if I give into defeat does it become reality. With all that being said, at the end of the day, my only option as my child's advocate is to stand on the word that the Lord gave me until I see it come in its entirety. That is my only option. So here I stand.

Sometimes that means I have to tell people that I don't agree with their opinion, not to be rude or confrontational. Sometimes I just have to say that's not what I believe. I have to say, "That's not what the Lord said to me". When I say that to someone, it's me alerting the spirit realm, "Hey, I have a word from God and I'm choosing to believe it still". It's me declaring out loud that I am not coming into agreement with less than for my child. That I will not be tricked into complacency out of the fear of "what if it doesn't happen". I do not get to be in fear of it not happening. Now granted, yes, I could partner with fear. And have many times. I have had to break that agreement many times. I sometimes battle fear multilpe times a day. But the Israelites that had the promise of a promised land from God partnered with fear, and didn't get to enter into that promise...that rest. I desire His rest in my promised land. My promised land is Harrison's healing and wholeness. That's when I'll be able to rest.

 ¹⁶And who was it who rebelled against God, even though they heard His voice? Wasn’t it the people Moses led out of Egypt? ¹⁷ And who made God angry for forty years? Wasn’t it the people who sinned, whose corpses lay in the wilderness? ¹⁸ And to whom was God speaking when He took an oath that they would never enter His rest? Wasn’t it the people who disobeyed Him? ¹⁹ So we see that because of their unbelief they were not able to enter His rest. Hebrews 3:16-19

No, I choose to have radical faith in the wilderness. I choose to believe His word to me even when it looks impossible and insurmountable. Even when I see giants all around me.

I'd rather have an unpopular faith that breeds hope and a future than to survive as/is and die in the desert. No. I'll take my chances believing God. I'll just be unpopular.